I was born a girl on June 19, 1968 on my parents 3rd wedding anniversary in the back seat of a car in the hospital emergency doorway. My father held a sheet while a doctor caught me in his apron. I was the apple of my mother’s eye and the thorn in my father’s side.
I had a rather, shall we say, rough childhood. Friendships did not come easy to me nor did acceptance. I was somewhat of a freak and something that other children did not want to touch or even be associated with. I was a tomboy, or at least then I was. Boys thought I was trying to be a boy and girls thought I was weird, strange and something to be made fun of and belittled.
I finally got my first real friends in the 8th grade. I had two friends that were girls and did keep in touch with them even after I had moved away. We were very close and it was nice to finally have someone that accepted me. I found that befriending others who felt as out of place as I did seemed to work better than trying to blend with the popular kids.
I had friends all through high school and college but there was always something different about me. I had gotten married, had a son and the marriage did not work out. Other relationships never seemed to work out either. The last boyfriend held me at gun point swearing up and down that I had stolen something of his that I never had seen or even knew he had until then. I had a second child with the last boyfriend but gave her up for adoption as I did not want to take out my anger toward her because of what her biological father did to me. I decided after the last violent boyfriend that I would wait for my twin flame.
In March 2008, I realized why it was that I was so different from others and what it was that was holding me back all my life. I came out as a FTM (Female To Male) transgendered male and started living as a man. I began testosterone therapy and pondered the various surgeries available for today’s FTM’S. I still like guys, so I’m considered gay. I live as a gay man now and I feel much better about myself and my life. But there has always been one thing missing from my life.
After a bout with a fake twin in mid February 2011 I was awakened to my true twin flame or twin soul in October 2024. I realized for the first time who he was, and where he was. Now I just hope that the divine smiles on me and brings us together.
I’m into skulls, horror, gothic stuff, Halloween, satanism, paganism and ornate stuff! I love animals, sharks & big cats are my favorites and I live in my van with my sister & our 5 house cats.